Israelite: Hey there! Who may you be, my good sir?
Merchant: I am Boris, the merchant. Can I interest with anything?
(Israelite looks through objects at the booth, he sees a first class ticket to Egypt)
Israelite: Woah…WOAH! Can I take this ticket to Egypt? I have been waiting for this chance for 27 years! I’ll make it worth your while.
Boris: With what? Your sandals? (Merchant laughs)
Israelite: My sandals… hmmm. Of course! Here take my sandals! Trade me that ticket, oh and that color screen television. Go back and read the DESERT CHRONICLE, it says that all the sandals of the Israelites never wore out.
(Boris looks at Desert Chronicle and nods his head)
Boris: here’s the ticket, oh and that color screen TV. Seriously though, why not Puerto Rico…
Israelite: Puerto rico doesn’t…
Boris: … or Oklahoma…
Israelite: no I don’t…
Boris: Ooh! Lightbulb moment! I sell you a ticket to, wait for it… Hawaii!
Israelite: Will you please stop talking!
Boris: Okay, hothead!
Israelite: I insist on going to Egypt, those places don’t even exist yet!
Moses: Time to go my people!
Israelite: See you, “Moses the Tyrant”! I’m off to true paradise!”
(In Egypt Israelite is shopping in high end mall when Soldiers 1, 2, 3, and Commander burst in)
Commander: Stay calm everyone! We will apprehend the rogue Israelite in this very market place!
Soldier 1: I found him Commander! Soldier 2 please escort him to the Commander!
Soldier 2: Soldier 3 please escort him to the commander.
(Soldier 3 gobbling up nearby fruits for sale)
Soldier 3: Yum, chomp, chomp!(Muffled) Say what now?
(Israelite is beaten and is regretful)
Soldier 3: I don’t get it, Why does Boris get the sandals that can’t be worn out! I want them!
Soldier 1: Be sensible, either way you’re going to get sunburnt!
Soldier 3: That is true, why couldn’t sneakers be invented yet?
(Commander whips Israelite) (As he says this he wears out his third pair of Egyptian sandals he was given, he roars in anger and despair)
Israelite: Ah! Ow…Ah! Lord please help!
God: I brought you out of Egypt to free you from slavery, but you chose to go back down to Egypt. I was going to give all the blessings of Canaan, but because of your choices, you won’t be treated to that blessing. I can’t help you now.
Israelite: NOOOOO o o o o o . . . .!